In no particular order...
1. My sister is expecting! I will have a nephew, or niece before this year comes to a close...
2. I've been engaged for a celebrity wedding also happening at the end of the year. For privacy reasons I shan't disclose any identities, but I promise that when it is all over, there'll be plenty of photos to share, and hopefully a worthy write-up as well. Stay tuned!
3. I will be tying the knot in March '08 :)
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
How Do I Pick A Photographer? AKA The Five Ps
Before I begin, I’d like to start off by saying that there is really no right or wrong, better or worse choice when it comes to picking a photographer – but only if you have made an informed decision. The reason I wanted to write this article is because I find that some clients are not asking the questions I expected them to. Don’t get me wrong – less fuss is good, but to me a client that asks questions tells me that they really care about the service and the photos that they’re going to get, and it really drives me harder to meet their expectations.
Anyway, I didn’t really have an idea of how I was going to write this piece, but I’ve decided to share with you some things that I, (as a photographer), would put into consideration if I were to engage a photographer myself. Some terms may be borderline technical, but I’ll try to make it as simple as I can. I’m going to give you an idea of the questions that you might like to ask your potential photographer, and also things you should be looking out for.
Portfolio
The photographer’s portfolio will tell you a lot about himself. Every photographer has his own style, and you should be able to identify it within his portfolio.
Does the photographer shoot wide? Or mostly close ups? Is he good in telling a story? Are his angles conventional or experimental? Is his strength in capturing the candid moments or producing really beautiful posed shots?
Like I’ve mentioned before, there is no right or wrong, it’s just a matter of what YOU are looking for. Each photographer has his own unique vision, and you should pick one that is closest to yours.
An additional thing to note, and something of special importance to me, is – how does the photographer handle colors? I personally prefer a style that is subtle, with consistency in skin tone. You might prefer colors that are vivid and saturated. Again – no right or wrong here, it’s just a matter of preference. (Actually, I really love black and white the best!)
Personality
Is it only skin deep? When you meet your photographer, I think this is one important thing to look out for. Certainly, personality does not affect the photographer’s ability, but you will be spending a lot of time with him on the day(s) of your ceremony. I feel that the more comfortable I am (with the photographer), the better I will look in the photos. Of course not Hollywood standard lah, but hopefully it will reflect the best that god has given me ☺
Product
This includes prints, albums, books, frames, cds, DVDs and whatever output options that are available. Your photographer should be able to advise you on what kind of paper he’s printing on, what kind of printing process is involved (photo / digital / offset etc), how may photos will fit into the album, are covers customizable, do the DVDs come with menus… the list goes on. Whatever else you can think of, ask!
Protection
I’m not referring to bodyguard services for the day, but rather, an important item that will serve to protect both the photographer and yourself. This is to ensure that everything is delivered as agreed upon by the photographer, and on the other hand, that the client will not make ridiculous claims after the delivery.
I’m talking about a written contract. There should be one that clearly states the terms and conditions, to be signed by both parties. On top of this, your photographer should furbish you with a receipt / invoice stating the deliverables whilst reflecting any monetary exchanges (deposit / full payment received).
On top of this, is your photographer taking any measures to ensure that everything goes smoothly. What do I mean? Equipment failure! This is something I personally have a little phobia with. Although I haven’t had the experience myself, it CAN happen. But not to worry, it’s not as if there is no solution.
Ask your photographer if he will be having a back-up camera, lenses, flash, external hard drive / media storage etc. Call me paranoid, but I believe in Murphy’s Law.
Price
You knew this was coming didn’t you? I bet you could smell it right from the start.
When everything is said and done, I guess this one pretty much dictates whether or not you will be engaging the services of the photographer.
Photographers come in varying prices, but if you’ve considered the 4 Ps mentioned earlier, you should be able to make an informed decision at this point. As I’ve mentioned in a previous article, cheap does not necessarily mean bad, and expensive does not necessarily mean good. Whatever the price that you’re willing to settle on, just make sure you feel that you’re getting your money’s worth, and you should be fine.
Outro
I expect that in writing this article, it will be like shooting myself in the foot. Now everyone will be asking a million questions. Whatever it is, I believe that it will be better to clear those doubts right from the start than having to explain myself later.
I’d like to end this with a loose quote from a respected and celebrated wedding photographer, the late Monte Zucker.
“… the flowers will last one day. My photographs will last a lifetime, and always remind you of this wonderful occasion”.
I think that in those few words, Monte has pretty much summed up the value of photography.
Anyway, I didn’t really have an idea of how I was going to write this piece, but I’ve decided to share with you some things that I, (as a photographer), would put into consideration if I were to engage a photographer myself. Some terms may be borderline technical, but I’ll try to make it as simple as I can. I’m going to give you an idea of the questions that you might like to ask your potential photographer, and also things you should be looking out for.
Portfolio
The photographer’s portfolio will tell you a lot about himself. Every photographer has his own style, and you should be able to identify it within his portfolio.
Does the photographer shoot wide? Or mostly close ups? Is he good in telling a story? Are his angles conventional or experimental? Is his strength in capturing the candid moments or producing really beautiful posed shots?
Like I’ve mentioned before, there is no right or wrong, it’s just a matter of what YOU are looking for. Each photographer has his own unique vision, and you should pick one that is closest to yours.
An additional thing to note, and something of special importance to me, is – how does the photographer handle colors? I personally prefer a style that is subtle, with consistency in skin tone. You might prefer colors that are vivid and saturated. Again – no right or wrong here, it’s just a matter of preference. (Actually, I really love black and white the best!)
Personality
Is it only skin deep? When you meet your photographer, I think this is one important thing to look out for. Certainly, personality does not affect the photographer’s ability, but you will be spending a lot of time with him on the day(s) of your ceremony. I feel that the more comfortable I am (with the photographer), the better I will look in the photos. Of course not Hollywood standard lah, but hopefully it will reflect the best that god has given me ☺
Product
This includes prints, albums, books, frames, cds, DVDs and whatever output options that are available. Your photographer should be able to advise you on what kind of paper he’s printing on, what kind of printing process is involved (photo / digital / offset etc), how may photos will fit into the album, are covers customizable, do the DVDs come with menus… the list goes on. Whatever else you can think of, ask!
Protection
I’m not referring to bodyguard services for the day, but rather, an important item that will serve to protect both the photographer and yourself. This is to ensure that everything is delivered as agreed upon by the photographer, and on the other hand, that the client will not make ridiculous claims after the delivery.
I’m talking about a written contract. There should be one that clearly states the terms and conditions, to be signed by both parties. On top of this, your photographer should furbish you with a receipt / invoice stating the deliverables whilst reflecting any monetary exchanges (deposit / full payment received).
On top of this, is your photographer taking any measures to ensure that everything goes smoothly. What do I mean? Equipment failure! This is something I personally have a little phobia with. Although I haven’t had the experience myself, it CAN happen. But not to worry, it’s not as if there is no solution.
Ask your photographer if he will be having a back-up camera, lenses, flash, external hard drive / media storage etc. Call me paranoid, but I believe in Murphy’s Law.
Price
You knew this was coming didn’t you? I bet you could smell it right from the start.
When everything is said and done, I guess this one pretty much dictates whether or not you will be engaging the services of the photographer.
Photographers come in varying prices, but if you’ve considered the 4 Ps mentioned earlier, you should be able to make an informed decision at this point. As I’ve mentioned in a previous article, cheap does not necessarily mean bad, and expensive does not necessarily mean good. Whatever the price that you’re willing to settle on, just make sure you feel that you’re getting your money’s worth, and you should be fine.
Outro
I expect that in writing this article, it will be like shooting myself in the foot. Now everyone will be asking a million questions. Whatever it is, I believe that it will be better to clear those doubts right from the start than having to explain myself later.
I’d like to end this with a loose quote from a respected and celebrated wedding photographer, the late Monte Zucker.
“… the flowers will last one day. My photographs will last a lifetime, and always remind you of this wonderful occasion”.
I think that in those few words, Monte has pretty much summed up the value of photography.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
The Big Day
So… all the hard work and planning is over… now it’s time to reap the fruits of your efforts.
Before I even begin, let me advise everyone to have good and plenty of rest before this day. If you have arrangements to make, please do not leave them till the last minute, and if you’re having stag and hen parties, kenduri, doa selamat etc, get it over and done with at least a week before.
Wedding days can happen in many permutations, but in this case, I shall base it on the most common itinerary:
Saturday noon – Nikah / Solemnization
Saturday evening – Dinner
Sunday – Bersanding
There are many things to take note of, this being a very important day for you, but it will not be possible for me to share everything unless I write a book, so I shall list the most important things (for me at least).
Best-Man and Bridesmaid
For the bride and groom, get yourself a reliable best man and bridesmaid respectively. I stress again on RELIABLE. These trusty persons should be by your side at all times, helping you out with whatever you need. There is plenty of coordination to be done, and they need to know the itinerary of the day very well.
The best man and bridesmaid should help you in answering calls (trust me, there will be plenty of people trying to get you on the phone!), and they should be the point of communication between the groom’s and the bride’s families.
Nikah
This is the most important part of the whole ceremony, as this is the point where your marriage gets validated and will be then considered a legal union. Hence, you should ensure that everything goes smoothly.
The groom should make every effort to be punctual. Note the distance you need to travel and factor in traffic etc. Do not make the kadi wait, as he may have other solemnizations to preside over as well. It is best to be early, as you will need to be as relaxed and composed as you can. The last thing you want is to feel anxious because you are running late, and this could lead to nervousness during the proceedings.
Don’t forget your identity cards. This applies to the bride, groom, wakil, and saksi. The kadi will definitely need to verify your identities and everyone mentioned will be placing their signature on the certificate. Remember, the signing of this document is not mere tradition or symbolism, if I may put it simply and bluntly, it is a legal and binding contract.
The Nikah bit can be quite a nerve-wrecking event for some. For that one day, the home that you are familiar with starts to resemble Kallang Stadium during its glory days with football fans jostling for seats and the best view. Having a family member to help organise the guests will be a big plus. It usually gets pretty warm - keep cool with fans and make sure windows are open for maximum ventilation. Oxygen is your friend.
Ok, there are more things to take note of, but I shall end it here in the meantime. As long as everything goes well for the nikah, you are considered legally married. Consider the rest of the day or ceremony as a big party, and I’m sure you’ll do fine. I’ll save that for another time.
Related Articles: A Primer, The Masterplan
Before I even begin, let me advise everyone to have good and plenty of rest before this day. If you have arrangements to make, please do not leave them till the last minute, and if you’re having stag and hen parties, kenduri, doa selamat etc, get it over and done with at least a week before.
Wedding days can happen in many permutations, but in this case, I shall base it on the most common itinerary:
Saturday noon – Nikah / Solemnization
Saturday evening – Dinner
Sunday – Bersanding
There are many things to take note of, this being a very important day for you, but it will not be possible for me to share everything unless I write a book, so I shall list the most important things (for me at least).
Best-Man and Bridesmaid
For the bride and groom, get yourself a reliable best man and bridesmaid respectively. I stress again on RELIABLE. These trusty persons should be by your side at all times, helping you out with whatever you need. There is plenty of coordination to be done, and they need to know the itinerary of the day very well.
The best man and bridesmaid should help you in answering calls (trust me, there will be plenty of people trying to get you on the phone!), and they should be the point of communication between the groom’s and the bride’s families.
Nikah
This is the most important part of the whole ceremony, as this is the point where your marriage gets validated and will be then considered a legal union. Hence, you should ensure that everything goes smoothly.
The groom should make every effort to be punctual. Note the distance you need to travel and factor in traffic etc. Do not make the kadi wait, as he may have other solemnizations to preside over as well. It is best to be early, as you will need to be as relaxed and composed as you can. The last thing you want is to feel anxious because you are running late, and this could lead to nervousness during the proceedings.
Don’t forget your identity cards. This applies to the bride, groom, wakil, and saksi. The kadi will definitely need to verify your identities and everyone mentioned will be placing their signature on the certificate. Remember, the signing of this document is not mere tradition or symbolism, if I may put it simply and bluntly, it is a legal and binding contract.
The Nikah bit can be quite a nerve-wrecking event for some. For that one day, the home that you are familiar with starts to resemble Kallang Stadium during its glory days with football fans jostling for seats and the best view. Having a family member to help organise the guests will be a big plus. It usually gets pretty warm - keep cool with fans and make sure windows are open for maximum ventilation. Oxygen is your friend.
Ok, there are more things to take note of, but I shall end it here in the meantime. As long as everything goes well for the nikah, you are considered legally married. Consider the rest of the day or ceremony as a big party, and I’m sure you’ll do fine. I’ll save that for another time.
Related Articles: A Primer, The Masterplan
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Yam Seng!!!
I guess I'm coming to terms with the fact that it's impossible for me to update this blog as often as I'd like. There are still articles I've yet to post too... But the good news is I've got new stuff to share.
Just over the weekend I had the privilege to document a Chinese wedding. It was definitely a great experience for me and it was really an honor to be able to be in a position that's often only reserved for the closest family members. I hope you enjoy the series of photos as much as I enjoyed capturing them. These are only from the morning half, and yet to be edited... but I'm pretty excited so I'll share them anyway.
Older flats offer a lot of rustic charm and flavour.
Father of the bride, veiling his daughter. Quite a charming and mischieveous man in person.
The bride, and the bridesmaids handling the 'negotiations'.
The groom and his best men did not have it easy...
The family joins in to capture the moment.
Our tough guys now lingerie models.
They didn't make it easy for the girls either. Check out where the ang pow is...
Finally!
The bride looking shy... or playing coy? :)
Leaving her home...
... and into his.
Serving her in-laws during the customary tea ceremony.
Squeezing some fun in between.
The groom and his best men have since recovered and back in good shape.
After a quick change...
... they make their way back to her place
Now it's the groom's turn to serve his in-laws.
The family. They had a bed-ridden relative, but it was sweet that they made sure she was always a part of the occasion.
I guess that's about all for now. Hopefully I'll have some time soon to add in photos and continue updating this blog.
Just over the weekend I had the privilege to document a Chinese wedding. It was definitely a great experience for me and it was really an honor to be able to be in a position that's often only reserved for the closest family members. I hope you enjoy the series of photos as much as I enjoyed capturing them. These are only from the morning half, and yet to be edited... but I'm pretty excited so I'll share them anyway.
Older flats offer a lot of rustic charm and flavour.
Father of the bride, veiling his daughter. Quite a charming and mischieveous man in person.
The bride, and the bridesmaids handling the 'negotiations'.
The groom and his best men did not have it easy...
The family joins in to capture the moment.
Our tough guys now lingerie models.
They didn't make it easy for the girls either. Check out where the ang pow is...
Finally!
The bride looking shy... or playing coy? :)
Leaving her home...
... and into his.
Serving her in-laws during the customary tea ceremony.
Squeezing some fun in between.
The groom and his best men have since recovered and back in good shape.
After a quick change...
... they make their way back to her place
Now it's the groom's turn to serve his in-laws.
The family. They had a bed-ridden relative, but it was sweet that they made sure she was always a part of the occasion.
I guess that's about all for now. Hopefully I'll have some time soon to add in photos and continue updating this blog.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Get Into My Brain
A dear friend of mine, Karen, has a very persuasive way of making me do things I usually wouldn't bother to. Like a web-based brain test. However, it was pretty fast to get through, as the questions are not thinking-based. No right or wrong answer. It's just a matter of preference and perception. My results are below:
Your Brain Usage Profile:
Auditory : 35%
Visual : 64%
Left : 61%
Right : 38%
Khairul, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and show a preference for visual learning, although not extreme in either characteristic. You probably tend to do most things in moderation, but not always.
Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that your learning style is organized and structured, detail oriented and logical. Your visual preference, though, has you seeking stimulation and multiple data. Such an outlook can overwhelm structure and logic and create an almost continuous state of uncertainty and agitation. You may well suffer a feeling of continually trying to "catch up" with yourself.
Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor. You can "size up" situations and take in information rapidly. However, you must then subject that data to being classified and organized which causes you to "lose touch" with the immediacy of the problem.
Your logical and methodical nature hamper you in this regard though in the long run it may work to your advantage since you "learn from experience" and can go through the process more rapidly on subsequent occasions.
You remain predominantly functional in your orientation and practical. Abstraction and theory are secondary to application. In keeping with this, you focus on details until they manifest themselves in a unique pattern and only then work with the "larger whole."
With regards to your career choices, you have a mentality that would be good as a scientist, coach, athlete, design consultant, or an engineering technician. You can "see where you want to go" and even be able to "tell yourself," but find that you are "fighting yourself" at the darndest times.
Try it yourself here.
Just remember, as a wise man once said: In the left brain nothing is right, and in the right brain there's nothing left :)
Your Brain Usage Profile:
Auditory : 35%
Visual : 64%
Left : 61%
Right : 38%
Khairul, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and show a preference for visual learning, although not extreme in either characteristic. You probably tend to do most things in moderation, but not always.
Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that your learning style is organized and structured, detail oriented and logical. Your visual preference, though, has you seeking stimulation and multiple data. Such an outlook can overwhelm structure and logic and create an almost continuous state of uncertainty and agitation. You may well suffer a feeling of continually trying to "catch up" with yourself.
Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor. You can "size up" situations and take in information rapidly. However, you must then subject that data to being classified and organized which causes you to "lose touch" with the immediacy of the problem.
Your logical and methodical nature hamper you in this regard though in the long run it may work to your advantage since you "learn from experience" and can go through the process more rapidly on subsequent occasions.
You remain predominantly functional in your orientation and practical. Abstraction and theory are secondary to application. In keeping with this, you focus on details until they manifest themselves in a unique pattern and only then work with the "larger whole."
With regards to your career choices, you have a mentality that would be good as a scientist, coach, athlete, design consultant, or an engineering technician. You can "see where you want to go" and even be able to "tell yourself," but find that you are "fighting yourself" at the darndest times.
Try it yourself here.
Just remember, as a wise man once said: In the left brain nothing is right, and in the right brain there's nothing left :)
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Excuse Me, Are You A (Wedding) Photographer?
I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the book ‘Excuse Me, Are You A Model’ by Bonny Hicks, but it doesn’t really matter. If you have never heard of it at all, you are probably quite young. If you know it but haven’t read it, no worries, neither have I.
Basically, this post is related to something a client asked me during a recent meeting.
During the discussion and after getting the paperwork done, the lady asked me this really interesting question, which goes somewhat along these lines.
“Do you have anything against being referred to as a wedding photographer?”
I know exactly what she meant, and she continued. “Because some people would rather be known as a photographer without the ‘wedding’ tag to it”.
The immediate thoughts to my head were, ‘is it so bad to be known as a wedding photographer? Is it such a degrading job? Is it a much less respected branch of the photography industry?’
The next series of thoughts were, ‘But I don’t only do weddings, and even when I do, my work involves graphic design and digital imaging. I’m also my own web designer and Webmaster…”
But keeping focused on the question, I had my answer for her.
“If you’d asked me just about a year back, then I’d probably prefer to be known as just a photographer in general. But now I’m totally comfortable being referred to as a wedding photographer”.
Why the change? Probably because back then I was a lot less exposed to the international photography community, but now my eyes and mind have been opened.
Overseas, especially in Europe, Australia and the US, wedding photography is a very respected profession. Somehow they understand that it is actually quite a high-pressure job. Unlike commercial photography, you only have one chance to get it right. There are no re-shoots for such an event like this.
Unfortunately, I don’t think the sentiment is quite the same locally. I even have a commercial photographer friend who says that ‘he’s moved on, he won’t do weddings anymore’. I think his message was, ‘wedding photography is for newbies. The good photographers move on to other works’.
Really? Well, whatever.
I have actually made friends with many international wedding photographers, and I’ve seen some really great work from local wedding photographers. Did you know that our local guys regularly win contests run by the Wedding Photo Journalists Association (WPJA)?
So in that spirit, I am seeing a new light in my profession, and I feel really inspired.
Also, slowly but surely things will change. Clients for example - 4R photos used to be the norm, but I’m seeing increased interest in Coffee Table Albums. Is it just something trendy? Only time will tell, but I personally feel that it is the best option for presentation at the moment.
I’m hoping that more people will see their wedding day photography as something more than just a means of capture, but as an opportunity for documenting that special day in a unique, personal and creative way.
As a matter of fact, and rarity, the lady who had posed me the question earlier, has requested for a fully black and white rendering for her Coffee Table Album. Strange, but that simple request got me quite excited. Though I have nothing against colors, in my opinion, nothing is as classy and timeless as a black and white print.
And so, in case you’re still wondering by now, yes, I am a Wedding Photographer!
It may be hectic, the hours are long, and less glamorous than commercial or fashion photography… but when I’m working, I am constantly surrounded with the feeling of joy. Surely that can’t be wrong.
Related Post: Who Is Khai?
Basically, this post is related to something a client asked me during a recent meeting.
During the discussion and after getting the paperwork done, the lady asked me this really interesting question, which goes somewhat along these lines.
“Do you have anything against being referred to as a wedding photographer?”
I know exactly what she meant, and she continued. “Because some people would rather be known as a photographer without the ‘wedding’ tag to it”.
The immediate thoughts to my head were, ‘is it so bad to be known as a wedding photographer? Is it such a degrading job? Is it a much less respected branch of the photography industry?’
The next series of thoughts were, ‘But I don’t only do weddings, and even when I do, my work involves graphic design and digital imaging. I’m also my own web designer and Webmaster…”
But keeping focused on the question, I had my answer for her.
“If you’d asked me just about a year back, then I’d probably prefer to be known as just a photographer in general. But now I’m totally comfortable being referred to as a wedding photographer”.
Why the change? Probably because back then I was a lot less exposed to the international photography community, but now my eyes and mind have been opened.
Overseas, especially in Europe, Australia and the US, wedding photography is a very respected profession. Somehow they understand that it is actually quite a high-pressure job. Unlike commercial photography, you only have one chance to get it right. There are no re-shoots for such an event like this.
Unfortunately, I don’t think the sentiment is quite the same locally. I even have a commercial photographer friend who says that ‘he’s moved on, he won’t do weddings anymore’. I think his message was, ‘wedding photography is for newbies. The good photographers move on to other works’.
Really? Well, whatever.
I have actually made friends with many international wedding photographers, and I’ve seen some really great work from local wedding photographers. Did you know that our local guys regularly win contests run by the Wedding Photo Journalists Association (WPJA)?
So in that spirit, I am seeing a new light in my profession, and I feel really inspired.
Also, slowly but surely things will change. Clients for example - 4R photos used to be the norm, but I’m seeing increased interest in Coffee Table Albums. Is it just something trendy? Only time will tell, but I personally feel that it is the best option for presentation at the moment.
I’m hoping that more people will see their wedding day photography as something more than just a means of capture, but as an opportunity for documenting that special day in a unique, personal and creative way.
As a matter of fact, and rarity, the lady who had posed me the question earlier, has requested for a fully black and white rendering for her Coffee Table Album. Strange, but that simple request got me quite excited. Though I have nothing against colors, in my opinion, nothing is as classy and timeless as a black and white print.
And so, in case you’re still wondering by now, yes, I am a Wedding Photographer!
It may be hectic, the hours are long, and less glamorous than commercial or fashion photography… but when I’m working, I am constantly surrounded with the feeling of joy. Surely that can’t be wrong.
Related Post: Who Is Khai?
Friday, March 2, 2007
The Masterplan
This is a follow-up to a previous article, not that you need to, but if you want to read it first, you can click here.
Ok for the rest, this article is focused on what you’ll probably need to know before the big day itself.
Someone once said, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”.
That very person probably led an extremely boring life! Whatever happened to spontaneity and excitement?
But you know what? He/she is absolutely spot on! Especially when it comes to such a thing as a wedding. Imagine having a house full of people and then realizing you forgot to book the kadi? You can forget about almost everything and everybody else but him. Confirm tak sah!!!
The example above is really extreme scenario, and the kind of excitement you certainly don’t need.
If you’re still not convinced and think that you can sort it out at the last minute, remember even J.Lo has starred as a wedding planner. If Jenny from the Block feels that such a role was worthy of her larger-than-life posterior, then you’d better have a plan!
Ok I know I’m getting off tangent but since it is the year of the pig, I’ll allow myself to gila-babi every now and then. Here we go! (For real this time).
Pick A Date and Stick By It!
Without the above, you can forget about everything else. You won’t be able to book any facilities, catering, suits / gowns / costumes, invite your guests… you get the drift.
Changing dates after you have started making arrangements will be a sure way to induce a terrible migraine. Don’t try it, I don’t know of any reliable medication at the moment. It’s not that your caterers / deco / insert provider here / are unwilling to help you out. They might have other bookings too.
Plan Early
Everybody says this, and it really doesn’t take a genius to see why. But how early? What you’ll need to do is to evaluate your lifestyle, work schedule and factor in how disciplined or lazy you are. This means that some of you can get things done in six months. Some of you might need two years. No need to feel embarrassed or kiasu, you know yourself best.
Book Early To Avoid Disappointment
You must have seen the line above a million times. It is of course a very ‘marketing’ and ‘advertising’ line, but I’ll explain it on how I personally interpret it:
Start planning early as mentioned, do your research and shop around for providers, get quotations, ask for opinions. Most importantly, get opinions from people you know and trust! Do not be misled by compliments and even criticism that you see on the Internet. I can’t stress enough on this - Do your research!
After all that, if the price is right and you feel confident about the service provider, book a.s.a.p.
Until you have officially booked the provider (usually with written contract / agreement, deposit etc), they are free to commit to anybody else whilst you are sitting on your decision.
Disappointment in itself is a subjective issue, but if you have done enough homework, I’m pretty sure that you will minimize that risk by quite a bit.
Manage Your Expectations
This can be a tough one, ‘cos not everyone sees things the same way. You might want a simple affair, whilst your partner wants something really grand. You’ve got to find a mid-point if you’re in this Mat Rilek + Minah Diva relationship. Or vice-versa.
Or maybe you and your partner are both chill-out fellas and don’t mind a joint wedding, but both your parents insist on having their own Majlis.
The above are further examples of exercising patience and compromise as mentioned in the earlier article. Remember, your wedding is not just about you! Consider your partner, your family, and the family you’re marrying into.
*Note: If you’re the first one in your family to be getting married, you can forget about having a small wedding. This is usually the occasion when your parents will invite everybody! Yes, it’s not absolutely true, but I think this observation is 99.9% accurate.
Money Matters
In this aspect, I think that we should follow the Indians and get the girls to pay us dowry!
Jokes aside (and I sincerely apologize if anyone felt offended by that), remember that the dowry is merely a gift from the groom to the bride. As far as I know, there are no official figures for this. Unfortunately, the Hantaran often becomes a matter of status for the groom’s family and ‘value’ for the bride’s family.
If you are caught in the above situation, I do not have an answer for you, but in this respect, I feel that sometimes we’ll need to ‘educate’ our elders. Try your best.
Putting the Hantaran aside, you’ll also need funds for the Majlis. Not everything here is a must, but generally includes the facilities, catering, berkat, deco, mak andam, baju pengantin, hadrah, entertainment, photographer, videographer… basically it just boils down to how much you can or are willing to spend.
Just remember that expensive does not necessarily mean good, and that cheap does not necessarily mean bad. What you should be looking out for here is Value For Money.
There is a reason why we are willing to buy some stuff from Giordano and others from Calvin Klein. You know there’s a difference between Lumberjacks Jeans and Levi’s. There is no right or wrong here, it’s a matter of what you want.
Having said that, maybe you’ve decided that you really want Calvin Klein (I’m using this as a loose example where quality meets price). If it’s not ridiculously out of reach, save for it! You don’t need to become a Haji Bakhil, but I’m sure everyone could prioritize and control their spending a little bit better. Shop less, pack your own lunch from home… there are many ways, really.
Outro
Phew! I didn’t realize that this article was gonna end up this long, and I do have another one planned… I think this should suffice and as you can see, there are really lots to think about and it’s really not possible for me to cover everything. Tip: Make yourself a to-do list.
I shall end it with some parting thoughts. When you are planning your wedding, do look past the occasion itself, as it is the beginning of your new life. Some couples get cold feet due to disagreements during the planning stages. It may be an indication of the future to come, or it may not. Don’t get too paranoid. Take a step back and learn to communicate better with each other.
Also, don’t go overboard with the expenses. Factor in a nice honeymoon trip, ‘cos you’ll definitely want some privacy and rest after the whole event. Again, no need for big plans here. You can’t go wrong spending a weekend lazing around on the beach in nearby Malaysia or Thailand.
When you get home, you can worry about other things like getting your own flat, if you haven’t made plans already. As you can see, it just doesn’t stop.
Next Article: The Big Day (Coming Soon)
Ok for the rest, this article is focused on what you’ll probably need to know before the big day itself.
Someone once said, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”.
That very person probably led an extremely boring life! Whatever happened to spontaneity and excitement?
But you know what? He/she is absolutely spot on! Especially when it comes to such a thing as a wedding. Imagine having a house full of people and then realizing you forgot to book the kadi? You can forget about almost everything and everybody else but him. Confirm tak sah!!!
The example above is really extreme scenario, and the kind of excitement you certainly don’t need.
If you’re still not convinced and think that you can sort it out at the last minute, remember even J.Lo has starred as a wedding planner. If Jenny from the Block feels that such a role was worthy of her larger-than-life posterior, then you’d better have a plan!
Ok I know I’m getting off tangent but since it is the year of the pig, I’ll allow myself to gila-babi every now and then. Here we go! (For real this time).
Pick A Date and Stick By It!
Without the above, you can forget about everything else. You won’t be able to book any facilities, catering, suits / gowns / costumes, invite your guests… you get the drift.
Changing dates after you have started making arrangements will be a sure way to induce a terrible migraine. Don’t try it, I don’t know of any reliable medication at the moment. It’s not that your caterers / deco / insert provider here / are unwilling to help you out. They might have other bookings too.
Plan Early
Everybody says this, and it really doesn’t take a genius to see why. But how early? What you’ll need to do is to evaluate your lifestyle, work schedule and factor in how disciplined or lazy you are. This means that some of you can get things done in six months. Some of you might need two years. No need to feel embarrassed or kiasu, you know yourself best.
Book Early To Avoid Disappointment
You must have seen the line above a million times. It is of course a very ‘marketing’ and ‘advertising’ line, but I’ll explain it on how I personally interpret it:
Start planning early as mentioned, do your research and shop around for providers, get quotations, ask for opinions. Most importantly, get opinions from people you know and trust! Do not be misled by compliments and even criticism that you see on the Internet. I can’t stress enough on this - Do your research!
After all that, if the price is right and you feel confident about the service provider, book a.s.a.p.
Until you have officially booked the provider (usually with written contract / agreement, deposit etc), they are free to commit to anybody else whilst you are sitting on your decision.
Disappointment in itself is a subjective issue, but if you have done enough homework, I’m pretty sure that you will minimize that risk by quite a bit.
Manage Your Expectations
This can be a tough one, ‘cos not everyone sees things the same way. You might want a simple affair, whilst your partner wants something really grand. You’ve got to find a mid-point if you’re in this Mat Rilek + Minah Diva relationship. Or vice-versa.
Or maybe you and your partner are both chill-out fellas and don’t mind a joint wedding, but both your parents insist on having their own Majlis.
The above are further examples of exercising patience and compromise as mentioned in the earlier article. Remember, your wedding is not just about you! Consider your partner, your family, and the family you’re marrying into.
*Note: If you’re the first one in your family to be getting married, you can forget about having a small wedding. This is usually the occasion when your parents will invite everybody! Yes, it’s not absolutely true, but I think this observation is 99.9% accurate.
Money Matters
In this aspect, I think that we should follow the Indians and get the girls to pay us dowry!
Jokes aside (and I sincerely apologize if anyone felt offended by that), remember that the dowry is merely a gift from the groom to the bride. As far as I know, there are no official figures for this. Unfortunately, the Hantaran often becomes a matter of status for the groom’s family and ‘value’ for the bride’s family.
If you are caught in the above situation, I do not have an answer for you, but in this respect, I feel that sometimes we’ll need to ‘educate’ our elders. Try your best.
Putting the Hantaran aside, you’ll also need funds for the Majlis. Not everything here is a must, but generally includes the facilities, catering, berkat, deco, mak andam, baju pengantin, hadrah, entertainment, photographer, videographer… basically it just boils down to how much you can or are willing to spend.
Just remember that expensive does not necessarily mean good, and that cheap does not necessarily mean bad. What you should be looking out for here is Value For Money.
There is a reason why we are willing to buy some stuff from Giordano and others from Calvin Klein. You know there’s a difference between Lumberjacks Jeans and Levi’s. There is no right or wrong here, it’s a matter of what you want.
Having said that, maybe you’ve decided that you really want Calvin Klein (I’m using this as a loose example where quality meets price). If it’s not ridiculously out of reach, save for it! You don’t need to become a Haji Bakhil, but I’m sure everyone could prioritize and control their spending a little bit better. Shop less, pack your own lunch from home… there are many ways, really.
Outro
Phew! I didn’t realize that this article was gonna end up this long, and I do have another one planned… I think this should suffice and as you can see, there are really lots to think about and it’s really not possible for me to cover everything. Tip: Make yourself a to-do list.
I shall end it with some parting thoughts. When you are planning your wedding, do look past the occasion itself, as it is the beginning of your new life. Some couples get cold feet due to disagreements during the planning stages. It may be an indication of the future to come, or it may not. Don’t get too paranoid. Take a step back and learn to communicate better with each other.
Also, don’t go overboard with the expenses. Factor in a nice honeymoon trip, ‘cos you’ll definitely want some privacy and rest after the whole event. Again, no need for big plans here. You can’t go wrong spending a weekend lazing around on the beach in nearby Malaysia or Thailand.
When you get home, you can worry about other things like getting your own flat, if you haven’t made plans already. As you can see, it just doesn’t stop.
Next Article: The Big Day (Coming Soon)
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