The Big Day

So… all the hard work and planning is over… now it’s time to reap the fruits of your efforts.

Before I even begin, let me advise everyone to have good and plenty of rest before this day. If you have arrangements to make, please do not leave them till the last minute, and if you’re having stag and hen parties, kenduri, doa selamat etc, get it over and done with at least a week before.

Wedding days can happen in many permutations, but in this case, I shall base it on the most common itinerary:

Saturday noon – Nikah / Solemnization
Saturday evening – Dinner
Sunday – Bersanding

There are many things to take note of, this being a very important day for you, but it will not be possible for me to share everything unless I write a book, so I shall list the most important things (for me at least).

Best-Man and Bridesmaid
For the bride and groom, get yourself a reliable best man and bridesmaid respectively. I stress again on RELIABLE. These trusty persons should be by your side at all times, helping you out with whatever you need. There is plenty of coordination to be done, and they need to know the itinerary of the day very well.

The best man and bridesmaid should help you in answering calls (trust me, there will be plenty of people trying to get you on the phone!), and they should be the point of communication between the groom’s and the bride’s families.

Nikah
This is the most important part of the whole ceremony, as this is the point where your marriage gets validated and will be then considered a legal union. Hence, you should ensure that everything goes smoothly.

The groom should make every effort to be punctual. Note the distance you need to travel and factor in traffic etc. Do not make the kadi wait, as he may have other solemnizations to preside over as well. It is best to be early, as you will need to be as relaxed and composed as you can. The last thing you want is to feel anxious because you are running late, and this could lead to nervousness during the proceedings.

Don’t forget your identity cards. This applies to the bride, groom, wakil, and saksi. The kadi will definitely need to verify your identities and everyone mentioned will be placing their signature on the certificate. Remember, the signing of this document is not mere tradition or symbolism, if I may put it simply and bluntly, it is a legal and binding contract.

The Nikah bit can be quite a nerve-wrecking event for some. For that one day, the home that you are familiar with starts to resemble Kallang Stadium during its glory days with football fans jostling for seats and the best view. Having a family member to help organise the guests will be a big plus. It usually gets pretty warm - keep cool with fans and make sure windows are open for maximum ventilation. Oxygen is your friend.

Ok, there are more things to take note of, but I shall end it here in the meantime. As long as everything goes well for the nikah, you are considered legally married. Consider the rest of the day or ceremony as a big party, and I’m sure you’ll do fine. I’ll save that for another time.

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