The Masterplan

This is a follow-up to a previous article, not that you need to, but if you want to read it first, you can click here.

Ok for the rest, this article is focused on what you’ll probably need to know before the big day itself.

Someone once said, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”.

That very person probably led an extremely boring life! Whatever happened to spontaneity and excitement?

But you know what? He/she is absolutely spot on! Especially when it comes to such a thing as a wedding. Imagine having a house full of people and then realizing you forgot to book the kadi? You can forget about almost everything and everybody else but him. Confirm tak sah!!!

The example above is really extreme scenario, and the kind of excitement you certainly don’t need.

If you’re still not convinced and think that you can sort it out at the last minute, remember even J.Lo has starred as a wedding planner. If Jenny from the Block feels that such a role was worthy of her larger-than-life posterior, then you’d better have a plan!

Ok I know I’m getting off tangent but since it is the year of the pig, I’ll allow myself to gila-babi every now and then. Here we go! (For real this time).

Pick A Date and Stick By It!
Without the above, you can forget about everything else. You won’t be able to book any facilities, catering, suits / gowns / costumes, invite your guests… you get the drift.

Changing dates after you have started making arrangements will be a sure way to induce a terrible migraine. Don’t try it, I don’t know of any reliable medication at the moment. It’s not that your caterers / deco / insert provider here / are unwilling to help you out. They might have other bookings too.

Plan Early
Everybody says this, and it really doesn’t take a genius to see why. But how early? What you’ll need to do is to evaluate your lifestyle, work schedule and factor in how disciplined or lazy you are. This means that some of you can get things done in six months. Some of you might need two years. No need to feel embarrassed or kiasu, you know yourself best.

Book Early To Avoid Disappointment
You must have seen the line above a million times. It is of course a very ‘marketing’ and ‘advertising’ line, but I’ll explain it on how I personally interpret it:

Start planning early as mentioned, do your research and shop around for providers, get quotations, ask for opinions. Most importantly, get opinions from people you know and trust! Do not be misled by compliments and even criticism that you see on the Internet. I can’t stress enough on this - Do your research!

After all that, if the price is right and you feel confident about the service provider, book a.s.a.p.

Until you have officially booked the provider (usually with written contract / agreement, deposit etc), they are free to commit to anybody else whilst you are sitting on your decision.

Disappointment in itself is a subjective issue, but if you have done enough homework, I’m pretty sure that you will minimize that risk by quite a bit.

Manage Your Expectations
This can be a tough one, ‘cos not everyone sees things the same way. You might want a simple affair, whilst your partner wants something really grand. You’ve got to find a mid-point if you’re in this Mat Rilek + Minah Diva relationship. Or vice-versa.

Or maybe you and your partner are both chill-out fellas and don’t mind a joint wedding, but both your parents insist on having their own Majlis.

The above are further examples of exercising patience and compromise as mentioned in the earlier article. Remember, your wedding is not just about you! Consider your partner, your family, and the family you’re marrying into.

*Note: If you’re the first one in your family to be getting married, you can forget about having a small wedding. This is usually the occasion when your parents will invite everybody! Yes, it’s not absolutely true, but I think this observation is 99.9% accurate.

Money Matters
In this aspect, I think that we should follow the Indians and get the girls to pay us dowry!

Jokes aside (and I sincerely apologize if anyone felt offended by that), remember that the dowry is merely a gift from the groom to the bride. As far as I know, there are no official figures for this. Unfortunately, the Hantaran often becomes a matter of status for the groom’s family and ‘value’ for the bride’s family.

If you are caught in the above situation, I do not have an answer for you, but in this respect, I feel that sometimes we’ll need to ‘educate’ our elders. Try your best.

Putting the Hantaran aside, you’ll also need funds for the Majlis. Not everything here is a must, but generally includes the facilities, catering, berkat, deco, mak andam, baju pengantin, hadrah, entertainment, photographer, videographer… basically it just boils down to how much you can or are willing to spend.

Just remember that expensive does not necessarily mean good, and that cheap does not necessarily mean bad. What you should be looking out for here is Value For Money.

There is a reason why we are willing to buy some stuff from Giordano and others from Calvin Klein. You know there’s a difference between Lumberjacks Jeans and Levi’s. There is no right or wrong here, it’s a matter of what you want.

Having said that, maybe you’ve decided that you really want Calvin Klein (I’m using this as a loose example where quality meets price). If it’s not ridiculously out of reach, save for it! You don’t need to become a Haji Bakhil, but I’m sure everyone could prioritize and control their spending a little bit better. Shop less, pack your own lunch from home… there are many ways, really.

Outro
Phew! I didn’t realize that this article was gonna end up this long, and I do have another one planned… I think this should suffice and as you can see, there are really lots to think about and it’s really not possible for me to cover everything. Tip: Make yourself a to-do list.

I shall end it with some parting thoughts. When you are planning your wedding, do look past the occasion itself, as it is the beginning of your new life. Some couples get cold feet due to disagreements during the planning stages. It may be an indication of the future to come, or it may not. Don’t get too paranoid. Take a step back and learn to communicate better with each other.

Also, don’t go overboard with the expenses. Factor in a nice honeymoon trip, ‘cos you’ll definitely want some privacy and rest after the whole event. Again, no need for big plans here. You can’t go wrong spending a weekend lazing around on the beach in nearby Malaysia or Thailand.

When you get home, you can worry about other things like getting your own flat, if you haven’t made plans already. As you can see, it just doesn’t stop.

Next Article: The Big Day (Coming Soon)